I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
