I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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