i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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