I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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