Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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