well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
