I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
