Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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