You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two words...techno handjob
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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