You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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