fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
