Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
