everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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