only if we run a train.
done.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
