i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
