The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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