he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
