In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
