i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
