I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
