Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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