Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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