My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
