You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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