It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
