I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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