what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
