Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You ruined the universe
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
