it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
