Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need water and some morals
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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