Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
