Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
