Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
