So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
