Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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