Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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