Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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