You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
