Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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