eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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