Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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