Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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