I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's always time for handjobs
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
