OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
