you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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