i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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