you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
