I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
