I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
tonight lets celebrate not being married
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
