hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
