my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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